Sneaky Ninja

Amazing weekend with amazing people.
-although I think I was overly honest again and may have hindered something great...already. LOL

I hosted another hicked out Dominican family party and ended up mapiando at 5AM because everyone knows that Dominican women cannot go to sleep with a dirty floor and dishes in the sink.

1) Does upward mobility in America mean a loss of cultural identity? I felt a strange disconnect at my own house party. The music didn't flow as it used to before college. I was borderline embarrassed at how my younger cousins danced reggaeton and I found myself changing the music that blared "culo this and bellaco that". What's happening to me?! LOL. I love my family even though I feel oddly distanced from it.

2) What would a world that followed the Catholic bible to the T look like? Just a thought as I went to catholic mass and found myself wondering what sins people were there to ask forgiveness for.

3) Some one wrote in my honestly box the following:

"You're sneaky, but honest lol sometimes."

A contradictory statement and a breath of fresh air nevertheless. I have been described in many different ways but never sneaky and I find it absolutely fascinating. Of course that comment produced a flood of followup preguntas (the downside of an anonymous comment box), like since when is being private being sneaky? But most importantly it reminded me that you inspire different impressions in different people. I always enjoy knowing people's true impressions of me, but only in a perfect world or on facebook. LOL. I hope I get more thought provoking comments and not hate. LOL

Hast la proxima mi people.
Matapasiónes.

MataPassions

Interesting night with UNusual suspects in the mix. loved it.

And now that I think about it, I am not the same person I was a year ago, I wonder how different I will be a year from now.

How about you? How have you changed in the last year? What changes do you hope to make in next year?

I am backwards. Its official. Thanks to MataPassions @ work, I am able to realize that. MataPassions has made me do to myself what I do for others so well-analyze my actions/patterns/self and act upon those reflections. I do all the analyzing but tend to make the same mistakes. Let's get out of that habit, shall we?

Thanks. Really. I have to shout out myself and state that I was dubbed MataPasiónes, a nickname I hold dear to my heart LOL, by some friends that mean the world to me and have dubbed MataPassions @ work for some funny ass reasons that someday I'll share, or maybe you are smart enough to figure it out.

Pausa y volvemos!
:) Luving Life right now...

the burbs

Why is the sight of a large man on a small bike hilarious??!!- Just me?

I was in the suburbs yesterday and was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions/thoughts/reflections.

That shit is another world. & it is sold to people of color as the promise land...

I dunno if I'm cut out for suburbia, I was there in the dark campaigning and I almost hyperventilated. This, of course, was after the painful reminder of how damn deprived I was while growing up. Lord Jesus, kinda scary, and it scares me more to know there are youth in worst conditions today. Funny how I be walking the streets of the Heights at all hours of the day completely oblivious to many things that can go wrong and almost let the burbs turn me into a poopoo, then again I am me :).

There was one thing I kept thinking about, however: my children. (I really want kids, marriage-not so sure yet lol). What kind of life do I want to offer them? Do I want them to reap the benefits of my education and hard work? Will I even have benefits to share? Does that mean ending up in the burbs? Does that mean they will be the snotty children of color I met and resented in college?

yep many questions and few answers. some food for thought is all...ur thoughts?

SEX before and after

okay, post #2 because this one is short and to the point.

After an absorbing conversation about sex with a good friend I was left with increased curiosity towards a question he posed. I decided to ask people throughout the weekend the same question to screen the responses. So far the responses have varied. So I turn to you blog world.

Do you think you can get to know a person better before or after sex?

Questions that question provoked: What constitutes a hoe? How do you know that a person who loves sex is not a hoe? What's up with the double standards women face when it comes to sex?

Your thoughts?!

what women want...

I had an epiphany on Saturday night as I rode the J train troopin' it to a poppin house party in BK!!! 13stops!!! I would've entered this over the weekend but the mobile site hated me for some reason.

So a really cute trini boy and I had dinner and then an eye opening convo. A lesson I learned the hard way was that to avoid disappointment, one must not have expectations. Needless to say the many disappointments- romantic and not- I've experienced have been distasteful and at times hurtful, so I try to expect nothing.

Wellll I fucked up. Lol. What I came to realize through this conversation was that expectations are what help you determine whether this person is deserving or not. Some expectations society predetermined ages ago (like a man should open the door for a lady etc. etc) and others are to your liking (smart, well spoken, etc etc). It is almost like making sure the person is qualified for your love/time/attention. I guess I tried to not have expectations but I've always had standards/ qualifications.

So I do have certain things a potential luv interest must posses/do in order to obtain/hold my attention/interest. And I admit, those are expectations. So I was wrong. Yea, admitting to errors is something adults do.

You will know when you have not met my qualifications if you do not obtain the desired position.

Interestingly enough, I don't know what position I'm looking to fill. I'll spare explanation of that statement because somethings are better left unsaid.

I am happy. I feel like I've found clarification to a key element in this whole thing called life. Makes sense to me, what about u?

bang bang Bang

IF someone treated you right, fulfilled most of your emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs, would it bother you if the relationship had no "status"? In other words, would it fly right with you if there was no definition on the type of relationship between the two of you? Just bang bang bang and continue the routine?

Your thoughts?

The following two videos kind of summarize what I'm trying to get at.

speak your Mind or shut your Mouth

this is the recurrent theme of my day. i find it fascinating!

so, a while back a friend of mine was talkin to this guy and brought me along for a chill session with his roommate and them. hey, i enjoy an adventure, wish i had the time and money to go on more.

*preface: if u haven't noticed, i speak my mind. i work for a politician so i can censor my thoughts and have developed some type of tact.

*Not this night. i went to this guy's place for the first time & topic of conversation: "we just got this place, what do you think?" and unexpectedly I let loose. Nope, not the "put ur feet up on the table" let loose, the "why are ur couches pink and walls purple?" loose. i overstepped my boundaries and was def out of my character and criticized the sh*t outta this poor dudes apartment. of course i didn't do it in a mean way but they did ask for my opinion :)

I never really figured out why i acted this way that night. Ms. NoSense doesnt live in grandeur and definitley cannot criticize ANYONE's apt (i've got dominican couches covered in cannary yellow PLASTIC, LMAO). naturally, i didn't expect anything but randomly running into this dude in the street and flashing him an embarrassed smile. interestingly enough, this dude and i actually became friends. n argue about that nite all the time.

*POINT?: SPEAK UR FAHKIN MIND. say what u need to say. I always do, even at the risk of seeming ignorant or mean. it makes room for communication, exchange of ideas and thoughts. a friend of mine once told me "to really get to know someone, get into an argument with them," LETS ARGUE! How else will we be corrected/enlightened/shut downnn?!

the people that matter most to me always tell me what i need to hear. whether i listen or not, is another blog topic, but they cared enough to tell me. the way i c it, we cannot possibly have a friendship if i cannot tell u the truth (good or bad) and you cannot speak with me genuwinely. please be assured that if i care for u, your truths will be spoken to and with you. u will find out if your partner is being unfaithful, if you look tore up from the floor up, if your acting like a child AND if you look gorgeous, did a wonderful job and are amazing. hey that guy could have written me off and thought of me as a b*tch. and that is what will happen with people that don't appreciate honesty. you move on to people that will, because eventually i was going to get honest, wat would of happened when I did? that simple.

*Keep it real folks- expect nothing but realness from me, but think before you speak.

*disclaimer: of course it takes a certain level of comfort and familiarity with the person before you can get blunt. please dont try this on someone you just met because chances are you will get slapped. lord knows why i didn't, my friend probably advocated for me lol.