passion-less

A person I am helping said "continue to fight, don't loose the passion." Consequently, I was reminded of a question someone asked me years ago, they asked what my goal in life was, and I responded: to have a passion.

Passion to me is something that effortlessly wakes you up every morning. It's something you have an intense emotion for and you enjoy, eat, breathe, sleep it. Passion...it fuels your soul and ultimately your life. (corny? yes, and how would you describe it?). Unconditional love towards your purpose. Thanks DeLaVega...again...

And yet, at 23, I remain passion-less. I know what interests and excites me. And that's just not enough. I know that while I like my job, I yearn for days that I am not working. What's the one thing that moves my soul? For example, I know people that are passionate about poetry, writing, singing, dancing, journalism, shoes, clothing, furniture, the Internet, religion, children, plants, water, medicine, etc etc. People that don't just dabble in their interest, but live in their passion. What about meeee? IDK. Really.

I think this is going to be a lifelong search until I find it. So far the only thing that I really enjoy doing is helping people. The problem is, the amount of people I've been able to impact has not quenched my thirst to help (refer to post titled "I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do" from January) . It's like a person that has been lost in the desert and finds a bottle of water with 1 drop in it. A teaser. Enough to drive a person mad.

I have faith that I will find it. I want to be passionate so that I don't look back one day and regret what I did with my life. So far I'm doing good. Wish me luck.

Paz.

just right

Sometimes others can say exactly what you couldn't. Thank you DeLaVega, I could not have said it better myself. Sometimes his art just clicks. Enjoy Friends!

Over

Romántica

What a GORGEOUS DAY! Spring is here, my second favorite season. OH YEA!

I wish I was in Central Park having a romantic picnic with a romantic person and a romantic bottle of champagne after a romantic stroll through the park.

Definitely in the mood for romance, can you tell? In that sense I am kind of cheesy. I love romantic surprises, especially things that were well thought out and meaningful. It is so easy for men to romance women. I thinks it is harder to romance men. Knowing the man facilitates the romanticism, but still, romancing a man (excluding anything sexual) is an art.

What's the most romantic thing someone did for you?

let me free...

ai dios, since when do Dominicans get allergies? I look worse than Tyson after Holyfield was done with him.

Recently, I've experienced the feeling of a caged bird more than usual. It's like someone with gigantor hands decided to grab me by the chest and squeeze without remorse. I'm not sad nor depressed just anxious. So many things I want to accomplish and no idea of exactly how to go about it. And I don't have the resources for them either. I feel like I'm accommodating to the life I fell upon and not seeking the life I envisioned. Being conscious of the aforementioned increases the anxiety. Almost like a prequartercentury-life crisis. LOL

It's not that things aren't okay, I just need them to get better-fast. I'm usually patient but recently even that's rare. The feelings of uncertainty and confinement serve as motivation, I'll figure this out. This will eventually make sense...breathing, no worries.

Which reminds me, what is the likelihood of a woman being successful in her career and finding true partnership? As per an observation I made: there aren't many successful women that are happily partnered up. It's almost like you have to choose one or the other. That's kinda crazy.

...hungry mind here it's all.

hasta luego...

Sneaky Ninja

Amazing weekend with amazing people.
-although I think I was overly honest again and may have hindered something great...already. LOL

I hosted another hicked out Dominican family party and ended up mapiando at 5AM because everyone knows that Dominican women cannot go to sleep with a dirty floor and dishes in the sink.

1) Does upward mobility in America mean a loss of cultural identity? I felt a strange disconnect at my own house party. The music didn't flow as it used to before college. I was borderline embarrassed at how my younger cousins danced reggaeton and I found myself changing the music that blared "culo this and bellaco that". What's happening to me?! LOL. I love my family even though I feel oddly distanced from it.

2) What would a world that followed the Catholic bible to the T look like? Just a thought as I went to catholic mass and found myself wondering what sins people were there to ask forgiveness for.

3) Some one wrote in my honestly box the following:

"You're sneaky, but honest lol sometimes."

A contradictory statement and a breath of fresh air nevertheless. I have been described in many different ways but never sneaky and I find it absolutely fascinating. Of course that comment produced a flood of followup preguntas (the downside of an anonymous comment box), like since when is being private being sneaky? But most importantly it reminded me that you inspire different impressions in different people. I always enjoy knowing people's true impressions of me, but only in a perfect world or on facebook. LOL. I hope I get more thought provoking comments and not hate. LOL

Hast la proxima mi people.
Matapasiónes.

MataPassions

Interesting night with UNusual suspects in the mix. loved it.

And now that I think about it, I am not the same person I was a year ago, I wonder how different I will be a year from now.

How about you? How have you changed in the last year? What changes do you hope to make in next year?

I am backwards. Its official. Thanks to MataPassions @ work, I am able to realize that. MataPassions has made me do to myself what I do for others so well-analyze my actions/patterns/self and act upon those reflections. I do all the analyzing but tend to make the same mistakes. Let's get out of that habit, shall we?

Thanks. Really. I have to shout out myself and state that I was dubbed MataPasiónes, a nickname I hold dear to my heart LOL, by some friends that mean the world to me and have dubbed MataPassions @ work for some funny ass reasons that someday I'll share, or maybe you are smart enough to figure it out.

Pausa y volvemos!
:) Luving Life right now...

the burbs

Why is the sight of a large man on a small bike hilarious??!!- Just me?

I was in the suburbs yesterday and was thrown into a whirlwind of emotions/thoughts/reflections.

That shit is another world. & it is sold to people of color as the promise land...

I dunno if I'm cut out for suburbia, I was there in the dark campaigning and I almost hyperventilated. This, of course, was after the painful reminder of how damn deprived I was while growing up. Lord Jesus, kinda scary, and it scares me more to know there are youth in worst conditions today. Funny how I be walking the streets of the Heights at all hours of the day completely oblivious to many things that can go wrong and almost let the burbs turn me into a poopoo, then again I am me :).

There was one thing I kept thinking about, however: my children. (I really want kids, marriage-not so sure yet lol). What kind of life do I want to offer them? Do I want them to reap the benefits of my education and hard work? Will I even have benefits to share? Does that mean ending up in the burbs? Does that mean they will be the snotty children of color I met and resented in college?

yep many questions and few answers. some food for thought is all...ur thoughts?