B who U r, not who U r expected 2 B

If I may, I'd like to comment on the plethora of life since my last entry.
Marriage: that's a scary fkn thing. The more we discuss it, the less inviting it becomes. Much of my investigation has led me to infidelity, constant up hill struggles, loveless unions, divorce, shadyness, and simply the unimaginable. You know, the stuff that NO ONE talks about. Only the fairytale bull shit is shared and we buy it. Do your research, you will be surprised, maybe disappointed, and even scared. Then again, I've always been a risk taker. Who knows...

Relationships: confusing shit. As humans, we posses an innate desire for companionship. As YO, I desire TRUE companionship- not necessarily marriage. Everyone has these fkn rules as to how healthy relationships should run; what he should do/be & what she should do/be. I say fuck it. If mental, physical, emotional or financial abuse is nonexistent and you are genuinely happy, fuck what you heard and move forward toward your happyness. Punto. I don't know where tomorrow will leave us, but I am happy @ my current stance, and I attribute that to the genuinely honest approach I've taken. I've surprised myself. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I highly recommend you try explicit honesty, may be the key to your happyness.

Life: In retrospect of the relatively low key weekends I've lived recently-by low key I mean staying in watching movies and cleaning, or going to a friend's house to stay in and watch movies- I think, there's got to be something more.  Allow me to explain. I choose to do the aforementioned. There has got to be more to life than clubbin, drinking, going to lounges, poppin bottles. I want something else.  Granted, when the right wardrobe is acquired, the funds are right and the ambiance is perfect, the memory is priceless. It's been my experience that that is not always the case. And how many times can one possibly do that? I'm bored, not stimulated by such life, I want something more. Perhaps love?

As I continue to make strides on my financial, physical, emotional, professional and personal goals, summer 2010 is looking very low key. It bothered me a little, but what am I missing out on really? In foresight, it will be worth it. 

Kids: I fear for my kids. I'm in awe at the "kids" I see on my way to work. Middle school "kids" with fully developed bodies and raging hormones. "Kids" that never have a bad wardrobe day. I have an idea of what values I'd like to teach my offspring. I pray for the strength and wisdom to raise relatively normal children that don't resent me in their adulthood.Good luck to you too.

Religion: maybe I need organized God? Its worked for some people.

Yes, its been a long time since I've entered a new post.

You see, I write because I get to express thoughts that typically won't make it to ears. Lately, I have been blessed with a very insightful audience. I also find myself in very interesting moods. Moods that range from desiring complete solitude to yearning for personal interaction and long conversations. Frequently, that drastic and instant.

I interpret that as a direct result of my reality. If you only knew.

Anywho, I'll try to be more consistent with the entries, and thank you for trying to understand this thing we insist on over complicating called life along with me . Remember, crack is wack.

Besos