Bachkahhhh

in the mood for randomness due to the randomness that surrounds me....

so i was walking to the gym and a homeless person (i really hate it when they are referred to as bums, as if they are no longer human cuz they smell and live on the street) pulled down their pants and proceeded to urinate all over the sidewalk. WOW..i wanted to die laffin but then I wudda looked crazy.

some guy busted his ass on the treadmill. i laffed.

my 2 year old nephew found my eyeshadow n thought my white bedsheets needed a "smokey eye" look. :x

recently my mind has been OD active. I caught myself having an active conversation with ME...in public! now dont get me wrong, I def talk to myself, but to loose my crazy in public? thats just outta my character, must've been someone important...

it's interesting how I react to men that are genuinely romantically interested AND sweet. apparently those men do exist- go figure! i have to admit...im jaded. im almost compelled to justify that statement by attaching the laundry list that has led me to my current state, but i'll leave that to your imagination. what is evident-to my surprise- is that my hearts been damaged and is now more guarded than Alcatraz in 1934. its not the typical guarding tho. its diff, odd, weird and inexplicable. which throws me off guard. im good at pin pointing these things out and addressing the issue allowing myself to moving forward. this concept of being jaded is new and unknown...i guess its inevitable, just like the innocent bystanders that will fall victims to it. i apologize in advance.

hey i cant help it and neither can many of my friends, male or female. I've seen it more powerfully in females tho..i wonder why. To many, TRUST is a 5 letter word in the english language. punto.

that doesn't mean i won't take the risk though. What's life without a little adventure and risk? U must be outta ur mind if u think imma volverme una poopoo n be defeated. Im def not a "ill never trust again" type of person. I say BRING IT...roll with the punches, and learn from the knockouts. MY trust system is in place with constant upgrades. u can thank many a-wack people. & hey if ur honest, u have nothing to worry about. dont get too comfy tho, they dont call me hawk eyes for nothing. amazing what people do when they think they are not being watched.

still too early to tell but 09 feels different (knock on wood).

stay vigilant
cambio y fuera!

I'd like a nigga cookie pliz....

so i was taking my driving lesson early this morning and the locutor (DJ) on the Hispanic radio show was discussing the picture of the post (the one on my blog from yesterday). One caller said "black people need to be okay with jokes, it was a joke, wats the problem with a little joke, cant black people take a joke? Black people take everything to heart, they are so sensitive."

....................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, this might sound crazy but RACISM EXISTS with in the Latino American/Hispanic community. Actually its OD. And we can't admit it boggles my mind! I am aware that I am making a bold statement that is about to open pandora's box but what's blogging without a little controversy?

anywho... if my people (and I say MY PEOPLE becuase my ancestry derives from Africa as well) were dragged out of their land, sold like animals, treated as such, oppressed by the very system that claimed to be seeking freedom and liberty for hundreds of years, then I'd have some type of sensitivity toward any sentiment that reminded me of that history.

Listen, as we have witnessed several times since Obama has become president, racism is still alive and thriving. And do you know why? Because slavery was emancipated in the 1800's, the ill-treament of peopple of color as slaves was an issue that reached its peak during the civil rights movements in the 1960's (which are still being faught silently today because of failure to right the wrongs) and WE ARE STILL dealing with many opressing systems, like the prison system, that continue to contribute to the oppression of black people/ communities of color.

We still live in a society where highschool students attend segregated proms until 2001 (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/23/turner.prom/index.html). Where our leader is refered to as a monkey and where the the highest numbers of people of color are found in prisons and the lowest in institutions of higher education... wat a coinkiedink!

So dont call it sensative when less than 60 years ago (1954 to be exact) black people in Kansas fought for equal educational opportunities and were able to overturn Plessy v. Ferguson's separate but equal bs law. 1954? YEAH That's 1 year AFTER my dad (who is dark skinned) was born. Meaning there ARE people that lived in that type of America still alive.

It's not sensitive when racism that leads to oppression is something so deeply rooted in the systems of this country that in 2009 instnaces of its well conceled poison constantly seep out. For example, theres a man that actually makes and profits off of cookies named "Drunken Nigger Face Cookie (pic of the post)". NOPE

Its unnaceptable and not funny for these things to continue happening
Its unnaceptable and not funny to accept the identity/image of watermelon eating, chicken loving, lazy, uneducated black people stereotype or look the other way when portrayed that way
Its NOT FUNNY and No we are not being sensitive. We should not look the other way when insulted like this. No, especially if you know your history. NO.

And this can be applied to all communities of color. Like when people are surprised I am "articulate" or when my cousins call me "white" for speaking proper english (internalized oppression at its best). UGHHH

This is an unpolished version of what would take me a life time to articulate properly. I just had to get it off my chest. And dont get it twisted, I've experienced racism from people of color- a lot. Not cool, but thats for another post.

Not sure if that made sense but PLEASE do some self evaluation/reflection. Reflect on racism, how you have faced it, how you have executed it and the pain you may have felt/inflicted in those instances. Think about the history. Think.

For our children.

like u didn't know....

On a politically non correct rant today.

so recently i have been asked the "where are u from" question more than usual. makes me think especially when people ask me about the origin of my name- too many syllables and vowels confuse people. we were four Dominicans, two of white skin complexion, two black ones, and people screamed "R U Brazilians?"
and that's just it. what does it matter where i am from if you cant tell? if you cannot tell whether i am Ethiopian or puerto rican WTF does it matter? are u trying to place me in some non existant heirarchy that will allow u to address me? a good friend of mine wrote an awesome paper in graduate school about the topic. its like people cannot move from the conversation unless they have placed you in their internal 'social category system'. Happens to me all the time. Hi Lauren, my name is Soraya (not my name but u get the point). L: Oh wow, what a beautiful name, where is it from? Where are you from? S: New York, you? L: I am from NY also but where are you really from?

Listen, I was born in HARLEM, NY, meaning I AM FROM NY. WTF do you mean where are u from? It's like my brown skin, extremely dominican name- which my mother made up- and raspy voice, wild crazy curly hair cannot possibly be from NY. Apparently, NY does not breed that. Do u c me asking white people where they are from? "Hey there Bob, where are u from?" How come Bob gets away with saying Virginia and I gotta bring out the flippin flow chart?? Well Lauren, if you'd like to get into specifics, my ancestry originates in Africa, Spain, Portugal, the Arabian peninsuala, England, Haiti, Tainos from the Island of Hispaniola and Puerto Rico, and a lot more untraced blood I havent discovered. But I was born in NY, raised in NY, and live the NY lifestyle...so I am a BLACKTINA from NY! U?

Now people, dont get me wrong, I AM DOMINICAN. I am not denying my ethnicity. But this is the problem with lables. You can't be anything else when you're labled the way you are in this country. You are stuck in a category n tasered if you wander away. That's why I get into fights with black people all the time. They looooove to ask me what I am, as everyone in the USA loves to do and when ask for specific becuase I am human and answer 'Black', they DONT BELIEVE ME. One guy actually told me, "you are too pretty to be black." Now, clearly he don't know his history and CLEARLY he hangs out with ugly people because I've seen some GORGEOUS black people (mmm chocolate men....)

But I dont blame them entirely for their ignorance (READ A BOOK PEOPLE!). I blame the system. We all have our perception of what certain groups of people look like. Those are called stereotypes and generalizations. But here is a secret....even though some stereotypes are rooted in some variation of the truth, THEY ARE STILL STEREOTYPES and generalizations.

So let me claim my African Ancestry and acknowledge that I am a HUMAN from here, where you are from. Jeeeeebles! And the next time you are having a conversation with someone you just met, wait until the end of the conversation to ask that question because it could lead to an interesting conversation after the fact that you already had a conversation. And the next time you are asked that question, remember me and try avoiding answering it for as long as possible. Report back to me on how the convo went, it should be flippin awesome!

And as for that picture......OH THAT PICTURE....it was on page 12 of the New York Post ( A WIDELY READ NEWSPAPER IN NY) on 2/18, 2009. Yes people 2009! Not 1945. Wat a disgrace. If you think racism is over and a done deal because a half black man is our leader you got ONE BIG surprise coming your way. I anticipate the worst of racism comin out. Just wait n c. Take some action for our children.

Call the NY post 212. 930.8000 select option 2 and tell them you have a response to the cartoon.


Hasta entonces,
Eta' q' ta'qui'

eeeeiiiii!

hi friends!

i know, i know, I have been away for a while. but great things have happened since my last entry.

held a successful event at work

went away- AWESOME, next stop Costa Rica

finished a book and started another one-woot woot!

n now chillin @ larry's house to then head to dinner...

Ahhh la vida es maravillosa

Laugh often people

A right after 3 left turns

Salutations mi GENTE!

En vivo y presente! Wow, what a weekend. I'll spare the details but intense work outs, me peine, work, then lots o' play!

First a point of clarification, contrary to most normal people in 2009, i dont have a desktop or laptop @ home which is why I dont blog during the weekends- not because i dont want to. I can do it from my blackberry but its annoying.

Secondly, i enjoy weekends so much because im 23 and work like a burrito sabanero. i must admit, im a workaholic because i have goals, but also because i am the head of household and wouldnt forgive myself if my parents suffered the consequences of my irresponsibility.

so may thoughts this weekend but recently i've been coming BACK. what i mean is that i went from being a total extrovert in HS to painfully shy the first half of college to slowly comin back to my old self. I went from talkin to strangers to barely replying greetings from random people. Still havent figured out y tho. I've got people to thank for bringing me back, but my dj is admirably outgoing and people flock to her. its so easy to become extrovert around her, so she brings me back to my element- thanks. I really needed that because i dont like so damn shy. it doesnt mean im as outgoing as she, thats all her. :)

made me realize how shut off we are from each other as people. i mean, i sit on the train with my eyes glued to a book/magazine/newsletter/blackberry/newspaper/advertisement/

anythingthatwillavoideyecontactwithanotherperson and my ipod blasting hoping noone bothers me. I think noone is interested in talkin and i want to avoid ANY uncomfortable situation. But then one day my ipod died and i couldnt fit my book into my purse so i was naked from my shield. And people smiled at me, talked to me and one guy even kicked it to me (didn't meet the preliminary convo 100 tho, so no digits 4 him).

this was amazing! new yorkers aren't necessarily nasty people, they just aren't given the chance to talk. so i started just reading instead of listening to music simultaneously, or doing neither to test my little theory. and it worked. people wanna talk. amazing.

interestingly enough, i didn't. lol. im so used to selfishly using the rides on the train/buses to meditate, jam, unwind, or read that i actually look forward to it. people wanna talk alright, about themselves. lol. one lady told me about her trip to florida, her sons wife, her shopping spree. Come on lady, this book was getting really interesting!!!!!! Or another lady wanted to talk about her problems, im sorry, here's my card and make an appointment. I literally deal with too many problems a day, peidon sra. im just being honest...im sure one day ill have a crazy convo like the one i had with this lady on the way back from pr one time, thats for another blog tho.

i guess it says a lot when u debreif on an NYC subway train...

i guess i made three left turns and limited myself to my insecurities. u can place urself in many boxes and i dont know how, but i was a victim of wackness. life transitions do amazing things to people and i finally made a right turn and began enjoying life outside that box. De La Vega could not have said it better- "There's a lot more going on outside the box," and I enjoy that.

Make your right turn people :)

We'll be right back! -Me