helos!
eh yo, fantabulous weekend
only downer was sucking at the gym on Friday and looking like a poopoo in front of my friend...not a good look. i have a hard time listening to my body-lesson learned.
played hard on sat nite cuz i work too damn hard durin the week...lord Jesus!
then spent the day with two of my closest friends. one of of the soldiers turned 24 and although plans were slightly altered, we had a blast. highly recommend Avenue Q if you want a light display of heavy life situations: love, sexuality, schadenfreude, etc etc. it helped to let the fact that we're getting older simmer and process.
I hope all of your weekends were as fruitful, purposeful and fun as mine.
the unrelated random point (and I'm smiling as enter this blog because I'm not miserable, just confused):
i suck at dating. LOL. its official. & I must specify, qualified attractive suitors r in abundance, its not that. its that i don't like how vulnerable i feel taking on a new suitor. i don't mind change or new adventures. but this whole dating thing is asking too much from me. lol, there is a reason i choose to withhold information from strangers. but in the dating scene ur putting yourself out there to potentially get hurt. rejection is not wat i fear. again, that's only temporary and God has an amazing way of working, plus THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.
its being hurt that i fear, and because of those jerks I learned to become emotionally unattached. and remaining emotionally unattached has helped me rid of those jerks, so thank u. my thing is, how can one be genuine when one is so guarded and emotionally separated? isn't it unfair to the person?
either way u r investing time in a person, right? getting hurt is inevitable and there is so much guarding u can do which means u put urself out there to either get hurt or take on a keeper....and that's what i don't like. can i spare my emotional health in this stage of my life? doesn't look like it, but I'm determined to maintain my sanity. thank u facebook lol.
nevertheless dating is exciting, new, unknown and fun. being in relationships has kept me away from facing this demon and boy am I learning.
well...BRING IT!
Monday, March 9, 2009
some1 clarify PRONTO!
Posted by ItWontMakeSense at 4:00 PM
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5 comments:
So, I'll say this and let it be read as it is. . . Women often complain of being used, or made to feel inadequate or objectified. Often, it is the female that takes on the same characteristics to make men feel the same. Men, I feel have a superior ability to be convincingly emotionally "bullet proof." I understand that it's easier to unload that emotional anger on us because you, as women, feel we can take it. However, being involved with an emotionally fortified (I mean that in the sense of a fort not in terms of positive strength) women, is hurtful. As a man, letting some one get to know you is HARD! I mean like really getting to know. I suppose I can't speak for every man in the world but I can speak for my kind (of us there are few I suppose). Please try to see us for what we are. Genuine, kind, strong men. Who are willing to love you through and past all the hurt you've come to expect and strong enough to take all the anger you've been holding in. But at the same time. When do we get a turn to be LOVED!!!
That's my 3 cents. . . I know I went a little off topic but I get caught up when it comes to this whole male/female dynamic. . .
PS - Please excuse the typos. I'm at work and this computer is old as hell. . . Not even a SPELL CHECKER!
Mr. Herald,
What emotional anger is it that you speak of? And since we are speaking of the male female emotional dynamics, many men cant bring themselves to tell women what they really think. for instance, your face and shape attracted me to what im really interested in: what's between your legs.
nope they dont say that.
they act how they think u expect them to act until they've reached their goal and then act how they really wanted to act to after.
That's why im happy i don't fulfill expectations. the assholes taught me well.
its the expectations i fill because of those risks that i have to take that possibly lead to hurt. and they are inevitable.
Allow me to play devils advocate for a moment. Men don't tell the truth you are right. However if they did, would they ever get what they wanted. And is what they want inherently wrong? The argument can definitely be made that men lie to women because the truth stands no chance. If a man came to you and said, honestly. "Im attracted to you. I have no way to start a genuine connection out of the blue but I would like to get to know you. You look good and your body is SICK! Hopefully you aren't an air head or a hood rat and we can get along and chill. In the mean time though, if your down I'd love to hook up now and again. . ." now, that is the truth! But how far would that get. Additionally, women don't lie? Even in the face of honesty. I'd love to hear just once. . . "Ok, I like you but I'm going to make you buy me 5 dinners and take me to about 6 movies and spend 4 nights and 8. . . .ect. before I let you get some" All that other stuff is just fluff. An illusion of progress when in reality the plan is already made. What would you call that?
i like this response. u r right. those "requests" u mentioned from women are the societal expectations women have gotten used to. listen, if a dude is in to u, he won't be counting the times he paid for this and that. if a woman is into the booty then a man usually knows. wud men put in the work if they knew there was no chance of booty? what if u said that and she was cool with it? what if she said, don't bother with dinner, lets go to ur place, what would your reaction be?
I'd still buy dinner. Just with a smile and no hesitation or reluctance because I'm grateful and satisfied. Not anxious, horny, and feeling taken. At the end of the day it's a game on both ends. We both want something the other isn't willing to give for whatever reason. The difference is, what men want feels good to both parties (if done right). The only stess involved is what women impose on it. There is nothing mutually beneficial about one party using all their resources (money, emotional, physical or whatever) and the other party enjoying. That's what the women's "game" seems to be. Get all you can before you have to give anything. The male perspective isn't selfish, it's just pointed, direct and efficient. I just don't feel like it's wrong. I'll open a door, I'll pay for dinner, I'll compliment you, I'll treat you well, I'll be honest, I'll buy you things, I'll spend time with you all that. But why you gotta play games with the P#$$! LOL
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