B who U r, not who U r expected 2 B

If I may, I'd like to comment on the plethora of life since my last entry.
Marriage: that's a scary fkn thing. The more we discuss it, the less inviting it becomes. Much of my investigation has led me to infidelity, constant up hill struggles, loveless unions, divorce, shadyness, and simply the unimaginable. You know, the stuff that NO ONE talks about. Only the fairytale bull shit is shared and we buy it. Do your research, you will be surprised, maybe disappointed, and even scared. Then again, I've always been a risk taker. Who knows...

Relationships: confusing shit. As humans, we posses an innate desire for companionship. As YO, I desire TRUE companionship- not necessarily marriage. Everyone has these fkn rules as to how healthy relationships should run; what he should do/be & what she should do/be. I say fuck it. If mental, physical, emotional or financial abuse is nonexistent and you are genuinely happy, fuck what you heard and move forward toward your happyness. Punto. I don't know where tomorrow will leave us, but I am happy @ my current stance, and I attribute that to the genuinely honest approach I've taken. I've surprised myself. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I highly recommend you try explicit honesty, may be the key to your happyness.

Life: In retrospect of the relatively low key weekends I've lived recently-by low key I mean staying in watching movies and cleaning, or going to a friend's house to stay in and watch movies- I think, there's got to be something more.  Allow me to explain. I choose to do the aforementioned. There has got to be more to life than clubbin, drinking, going to lounges, poppin bottles. I want something else.  Granted, when the right wardrobe is acquired, the funds are right and the ambiance is perfect, the memory is priceless. It's been my experience that that is not always the case. And how many times can one possibly do that? I'm bored, not stimulated by such life, I want something more. Perhaps love?

As I continue to make strides on my financial, physical, emotional, professional and personal goals, summer 2010 is looking very low key. It bothered me a little, but what am I missing out on really? In foresight, it will be worth it. 

Kids: I fear for my kids. I'm in awe at the "kids" I see on my way to work. Middle school "kids" with fully developed bodies and raging hormones. "Kids" that never have a bad wardrobe day. I have an idea of what values I'd like to teach my offspring. I pray for the strength and wisdom to raise relatively normal children that don't resent me in their adulthood.Good luck to you too.

Religion: maybe I need organized God? Its worked for some people.

Yes, its been a long time since I've entered a new post.

You see, I write because I get to express thoughts that typically won't make it to ears. Lately, I have been blessed with a very insightful audience. I also find myself in very interesting moods. Moods that range from desiring complete solitude to yearning for personal interaction and long conversations. Frequently, that drastic and instant.

I interpret that as a direct result of my reality. If you only knew.

Anywho, I'll try to be more consistent with the entries, and thank you for trying to understand this thing we insist on over complicating called life along with me . Remember, crack is wack.

Besos

In My Mind...walk with me...

C'mon, ease on down the road in my brain. You're the guest star in the cinematographic off spring of...

Dr. Seuss, Che Guevara, Bob Marley, Bikram Choudhury, John Leguizamo, Juan Luis Guerra, Alaine, Erykah Badu, Tim Burton, and Paulo Freire...

What a wonderful stroll that would be...

Thanks DJ for the title

Get Your Priorities Straight Society!

Critical thinking, a skill that is taught early in our public school education, is one that should continue to develop throughout our lives.  As a person that enjoys critical thinking and making others think critically, I show you some facts about the Olympics and the World Cup you may have not known. Eventually, you will make a decision about supporting events that have these types of impacts on communities and our global society.

2010 Olympics



World Cup- South Africa


The way I see it, our society needs its to do list redone asap.

Wake UP!

Just Curious

I wonder if this is the life my mother saw for herself. 

I wonder if her daydreams at 24 are long forgotten at 54.

I wonder if I'm what she imagined.

I wonder if my children will ask these questions; I wonder about my responses.

........

clear

   
                        [defibrillator noise]... 

 
{in foggy white place...searches for familiarity..sees silhouette}...

Poverty Prevails despite the abundance of wealth...

This isn't going to be a happy one friends.

In actuality, it will be an angry entry.

I am angry that members of society can dish out approximately $1.3 billion to construct an unnecessarily new Yankee Stadium, of which $220 million were public monies from the City of New York for stupid ish like parking facilities ($75 million), parkland along the waterfront ($135 million) and other work related to the stadium. WAIT, there's more! The project also received approximately $1.1 billion of private financing from the Yankees.

While the big bucks are poured over such important things, education, health care, hunger, and housing have long gone ignored both locally, in the great City of New York, and internationally like countries such as Haiti.For example,

I mean, compared to the $1.3 billion spent on a stadium, only $194 million is needed to provide adequate services to 400,000 New Yorkers who live in NYCHA housing.

Its sickening that Haiti has been one of the poorest countries, if not THE poorest country in the western hemisphere for years and it took a catastrophe to turn the world's attention to it. Granted, 1.3 billion isn't nearly enough to repair the mess we created in this world, but it would sure help!

I'm angry that "third world countries" and homeless people simultaneously exist in such an affluent world. It just does not make sense. 

As a society, we have our priorities ALLLL WRONG, and even worse, its accepted.

Its overwhelmingly disappointing how individualistic we can be.

I pray for the wisdom, patience and strength to help change it.

-In solidarity....
Yo.

mariposas...

and the countdown begins...

Blue Monarch Butterfly, one of the few insects that migrates over two thousand miles...unique and a free spirit...like me :)

Uniquely Yo

I had an amazing conversation with a good friend about women and men & relationships-amongst other things...

interestingly enough, throughout the conversation, my good friend would say something about women to which I would frequently say or think "I'm not like that" or "that's not me". 

maybe i am weird and am not what most men expect me to be like.  not to say I don't make the typical mistakes women make, but I honestly do feel that I do things that are atypical from "most *Dominican women".

few examples:


*I can handle the truth.  Does that mean I won't react to it?  No.  But it does mean that you can honestly tell me what you are thinking and it won't be held against you.
*Maturity level is beyond comprehension and I can have REAL TALK with men.
*Flawed SuperWoman.  Punto.

My friend said sooooo many things that I was like...noooooooo, not I....and I understand that women say they are one way and then act another.  and so i understand if you sir, are like-GTFOH (get the eff outta here in ny accent)! but if u know me, u also know that i do speak much about me, but i do as i mean, and then reflect with the person.

i know, i know, its hard to digest,  IDC if you believe me or not, but let it simmer and observe. i think u'd be surprised.  i never cease to amaze myself

Star light, Star bright, First star, I see tonight ...

Evangelina (See The Princess and the Frog, only then you will get it lol),

If only someone would pay all my bills and keep my mom company for a year or two, I would volunteer for a global NGO which requires I travel and live in several different countries.

Happy would be an understatement to describe what I'd feel.

pliz?

regalos continued....

lol

I would like a decent sized kitchen equipped with the tools for a 5star restaurant chef AND the time to experiment in it.

a personal jet.


....until I see some stuff I want. lol lataz

Eff U

*The sign in the picture gets my point across except i would make a few edits so it read: "No se pasen cono malditos"

right hook, left jab- don't forget to breathe
breathe, right uppercut, right jab x2.
3 breathe (r,l,r)
4 (r,l,r,l) breathe

sick of rolling with the punches

any hint as to when the bell will ring? how long is the round anyway?

im not the type to waa waa about shit. with that said, a big F U to wat's pissing me the fuck off right now.

Love should not hurt.

I don't want to know love if it means a black eye, busted lip, isolation, lies or living in fear....

"A woman is battered every 9 seconds in the U.S., and approximately 1,400 women are murdered by their spouses each year." - domesticviolence.org

damn you superman syndrome.....damn u.

y eta vaina, dique romance?

A topic that has come up with eerie frequency in the past few days: Romance- and I look forward to your comments!

Men debating the do's and don't of romance and women analyzing each romantic gesture.

My conclusion: it is EASY to romance a woman.

Yep, I said it and I believe it. Listen, any man that watches any good romantic comedy or has female friends can figure out how to romance a woman. It is not hard to send her flowers or a midday email to let a woman know she's in your thoughts. It's not difficult for a man to take a woman out and pay for everything and hold doors and show your good manners.
That's why I look beyond the "easy stuff"- not to say it should not be done!

Its protocol. A man should want to show you that he can go out of his way to make you feel unique. So what exactly is special about it?

What is hard- ladies, is finding a man willing to do the easy protocol stuff and exceeding. What provides to be more difficult, is finding a man that romances a woman because HE WANTS TO, not because it's expected.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend and he commented on my habit to "comment on every nice gesture" a man may have done. And this friend is right. I make it a point to compliment a man for treating me as I'd like. Because that's just it. Women are easily romanced because there are more men that no longer go through the inconvenience of romancing a woman with the easy protocol stuff at minimum. So few, that when a woman encounters the man that actually does, it seems out of this world!

Not I. Look, I appreciate the romantic gestures, which is why I show my appreciation, it also encourages the person to do it again, because it was appreciated and very much liked. But please understand that the easy protocol stuff is the basic minimum. For example, I went on a date last night and the guy asked me "What's one thing a guy never did for you that you wish he did?" And my response wasn't as direct as he expected.

A man should do what he thinks would make me happy consistently throughout a relationship because he wants to therefore making him happy. If it will not be done consistently, then why do it? And for the record, it does not have to be in materialistic form. In other words, don't bring me red roses because you know I like red roses once, instead, bring me red roses as many times as possible throughout our union because that's what YOU want to do. Doing something romantic for me should make the man happy, I don't want to be selfish in my happiness.

And what about romancing a man??! HTF does that even happen?! Men need to be romanced too you know! Clearly its a different technique, but I've given men flowers before. How about them apples?! lol.

IDK, I'm kind of annoyed at women that boast about simple shit, like "He returns my textes in a timely fashion." LOL (I'm guilty of that) and its sad that those are the types of compliments we are giving men romancing us. I'm tired of men getting away with simple romancing BS like paying for dinner. How is that romantic?! LOL. I wish I heard more women say, every Friday, for the last (enter length of relationship here), there is a bouquet of roses on my desk at work or at my front door, never missed one Friday. Now...thats romance!

Ladies, we need to have higher standards in the romance department and men need to be a little bit more creative...and vice verse. Men challenge yourself to go above and beyond, women romance your men!

I'm pretty sure that's why my family thinks I'm gay. Because I refuse to settle and just bring along any dude that buys me a rose from the single rose seller on 34th street, which I've done before. Yes sometimes you like a man so much that his minor attempts seem great, but then later on you are miserable and angry that "he's not trying anymore" when it was clear he never tried to begin with. And yes, I've rushed into things at times, but men seem to forget that the screening process doesn't end at me me liking you. Keep impressing me because I'm a hot commodity, I can make you better. I hope this post isn't misinterpreted. I am a hopeful romantic, I do love roses and cheasy walks in the park. I just ask for initiative and work. Samethings I put in.

Standards scare people, I do not have a laundry list and there is room for compromise, but I will not settle. When you settle you end up miserable- take it from me.

*Mistakes have been made, taking a new approach people!

For Precious...

Friends...I just viewed Precious...let's talk...

This is a movie about a teenager that experiences physical, emotional, mental, verbal and sexual abuse from her father and mother. As a result, By the time she's 16, she is illiterate and the mother of 2 incestuous children. This movie tells a very real and traumatic story and, audiences love it and are recommend, as do I.

I am happy this movie made some theaters (interesting not all). It seems as though humans are fascinated by the experiences of others (I know I am) and its amazing to see actuality reach some viewers. Glad to see that its not always about the happy endings and the ongoing perfection Hollywood seems to continuously feed us.

With that said and without minimizing Precious' story, I'd like to uplift a gazillion untold stories.

FYI people, we all have our story. I've witnessed many realities just as traumatic as that of Precious' if not worst. Even as I write this several of my friends come to mind. In other words, Precious is not alone. If only this movie would have reached all theaters and possibly reached viewers unaware of such struggle, it could serve as some type of societal public service announcement. Just for a moment, it would permeate society's pseudo bubble of perfection serving as a reminder that as our energy and focus is consumed by an unfaithful Tiger Woods, we ignore the countless "Precious' " being molested by their parents, failed by those meant to protect them and that as a society we have our work cut out for us.

I am aware of such struggle, for I have my own story. I'm in need of no reminder. There are many who do. Maybe a movie is not the best way, but its a start. I know that individual decisions are essential regarding one's future, but sometimes, some of the circumstances we end up in are results of societal flaws.

When human trafficking exist and thrives in the US and globally, its a societal failure.
When an achievement gap exists in our youth, products of our education system, its a societal failure.
When an educated person of color is "the exception", or "went against all odds", its a societal failure.
When people of the same sex cannot join in civil union, disregarding religious affiliation, society has failed them.

I can't deny that by promoting this film, I am also promoting a film that has the potential to perpetuate already existing negative stereotypes, for it does not portray people of color in the best light. But the film catapulted my mind and emotions into a tornado of thoughts, so I suggest everyone mature enough to handle it, watches Precious or reads the book.
With that said, go ahead and reflect on how you can can challenge society to diminish the amount of Precious' that exist. I'm working on my master plan.

This one is for all the Precious' I know and have failed.

En esta navidad, me voy a regalar...

Bueno mi gente,

I have a very interesting take on Christmas..well more like the Western culture of Christmas, not the reaaaal meaning of it.

I typically don't get presents, only because I don't get them, doesn't mean I don't wish for them.

So... if Santa really existed, I would ask for:

*The perfect present for my mom (trust me shes the hardest woman to please)
*A shopping spree and makeover
*A week long vacation all expenses paid...with some company
*A really good massage
*A trip to spa castle...or two
*Quality time with genuwine people
*An extension to my yoga subscription
*A romantic surprise

This list in not exhaustive and will continue to develop. I'm okay with my list because life has taught me that contrary to popular belief, christmas isn't about the presents. Heck, my parents haven't given me a present since like 1996 lol. And that's okay, because regardless of the presents, christmas comes around and I have a blast.

I do get a little sad when I see people bragging about their cameras and diamond rings...but material things can only fulfill but so little. Then Christmas is over and the miserable feelings return. LOL.

Plus I have life long presents...friends, health, intelligence and gorgeousness lol. What more can I ask for? Again, I'm not only thankful on samguibis...I'm thankful for Life.

For Life is like a bubble, created in seconds, at times perfect, shinning bright, going freely with the wind, everlasting...and then, like a bubble, life inevitably ends as quickly as it was created.

Rest in Paz. Luis Ortiz...like your life...your passing served us also:

Reminding us that we are only on this world temporarily and the most important things, the parts of life that matter, are not the ones we can buy and brag about on December 26th.

Taino Blood Runs Deep

My Roots

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/11/23/science/1247465759943/dominican-town-explores-ecotourism.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/24/science/24miches.html

Yo <3 Miches

Giggety!

Got IT! Yep, I'm back...full throttle beaches! I'm getting that travel itch again...I can't afford it but opportunity rose and I may be taking a bite out of it sooner than expected. Plus, I'm tired of this eff'n slavery, its the same feeling that led me to Spain, Costa Rica, Miami, Vegas...lol..I'm smart, I can handle :) No Miami for me, its cool, not that exciting...pero Cali...o talvez Miches? Quien sabra? Day 5...lets GET IT.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh riggght... Smile can't fit on this planet...Me siento...Resplandeciente ...Mi di top shotta!

mira tu!

get it together carajo

poopoo tu no eres ni seras

hmm.

pao pao

yaooooooo mi gente!

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking, probably way too much, but I've had many many revelations lately that i hope to expand on in separate entries.

pero before i forget:

I had a convo with a friend in regards to marriage. My position: if two people are committed to each other why do they need a religious ceremony, performed by a nongodly mortal, to confirm that? His response: ceremonies serve a purpose. Initially, I was like yea, whatever, many people who take the plunge in a religious ceremony end up in another ceremony: divorce. But then it dawned on me...he is right. We shall be expanding on this later on, but think about this one.

I was an emotional wreck last week, but the emotion I felt the most was anger. I need to resume to working out before I loose friends due to my smart impulsive mouth. It cracks me up how impulsive I can be. I be doing some crazy ish man...tengo que tener cuidado.

Sex and double standards...I can write a whole book on that one. Lets just say I am surprisingly happy where I'm at. Giggety!

So I saw someones facebook status and, although it was a joke, i found his comment to be borderline offensive. I decided to send this person a private message and shared why I thought his comment should be thought over. I seriously contemplated about sending this message and after sending it, spoke it over with a few friends.

One friend: it was a joke, you are being to sensitive, i thought you believed in free speech

my response: are we too apathetic? are we enabling the man?

My thoughts: he's a smart man, if he's as smart as I think, he won't get offended, he'll just think about what effect his words have on people.

Second friend: true true.

Sensitive or not, as a socially conscious person, I wanted to make this person think. I am happy to report that this person received the message intelligently and my anti oppression task was complete. The work is life long. I think we let too many things slide by, but that's the society we live in, I choose to challenge the status quo any chance I get. I will not continue to enable people's dumb thoughts, not when they claim to be intelligent. I am proud of myself and will continue to urge people to shut up and talk.

& finally, I have had lots of time face the reality that I have come into with age. As I have gotten older, my cross has only gotten heavier. The new plight I have taken on: FACING it. For a few years I've been in denial about some one's addiction problem responsible for my reality today. I have finally the courgae to face it. Thankfully, I am the way I am, otherwise this battle would have beaten me a long time ago. I am happy I am individually strong. Now I have to complete going through the motions so I may begin forgiving. I have faith I will one day, for now, anger is what I feel. I'm not worried of permanency, I've never been an angry person.

I love you because you have never stopped being a genuine friend or wrong about anyone. PaoPao to me for being hopeful. Sometimes the proof is right in your face and its still hard for you to see. Lesson learned: learn from new experiences and people in life but always know yourself more. For your trust, the test should be much more critical, that way you are not disappointed when you have been failed.

I've learned to have no expectations and cant help that I get soft from time to time. SMH @ me. Just a little reminder course its all. Noted.

You cannot fake intelligence.

Interesting what is important to people. Do you know what is truly important to you?

Everything happens for a reason, seriooosoooooooooo!

Palabra

You may be a slave and not even know it...