Chosen Toe: This is Your Debut

Yes, inspired enough to ignore work and share something amazing with you!

SOOOOOOOOOOO many things that are blog worthy but this...this is a breakthrough people! I came back with a vengeance so excuse the long entry. Please read it in its entirety.

For as long as I can remember I've had an odd looking pinky toe. After my best friends ridiculed it and my feet relentlessly, I became conscious of the fact that this toe was interesting looking and shortly thereafter the toe that rises slightly above the rest was deemed: The Chosen Toe (TCT). So after realizing that people actually judge feet aesthetics, for as long as I can remember, I've kept it hidden from eyesight and only those closest to me have ever witnessed my feet, let alone TCT and my embarrassment.

Then I became a little older and interested in the opposite sex, and increasingly self conscious of my unconventional looking feet and TCT. Because my life is one big comedy show, 3 out of the 4 partners I have seriously been involved with have had a foot fetish. LMAO. Yes, ironic. Proof that God has a sense of humor. Funny how my feet was the last thing that mattered to them.

Anywho, since then a visit to the podiatrist contained a high spot on my bucket list, but lapses in health insurance coverage served as obstacles. Thankfully my current position came complete with health insurance so I stepped up to the plate, eager to consult a podiatrist on how to remove TCT. Ahh...if it were only that easy....

I told the podiatrist I've always had my suspicions about the toe and wanted an overall foot health analysis. It went as follows: Basically I have a high arch that moves with each step I take. According to her, its the worst type of arch to have because it causes unnecessary pressure on my feet and there is a high probability that I may get arthritis of the feet later in life. As a result, the joints in my foot (not toes) have been impacted by the pressure making my toes contract and not be fully extended like some people with long toes. That's why I have the worlds smallest looking toes.

Finally, the part I've been waiting for: analysis of The Chosen Toe. She takes one look at it and says: its hereditary; even if you don't know anyone in your family with a toe that looks like that, its allllll genetics. Immediately, I get a little discouraged. Then she says

-We can correct it-ahhh hope!
-But...- damn it!

Because of the type of arch you have, it would have to be major foot surgery because we would have to correct all of your toes. I recommend surgery only if there is pain. Also because of the reasons why your feet are like that, chances they will return to looking like that are high. She then applauded how well taken care of my feet are and that I should continue caring for my feet the way I do because its helping my foot health.

I don't believe in surgical procedures for aesthetic purposes. If I did, I would have gotten Lipo a looong time ago and kissed the gym goodbye. So, unless I begin to feel pain, The Chosen Toe is here to stay. I began caring about the appearance of my toes because they were being judged by others (I was truly ok with my feet until they were subject to review by others). I've blamed myself for not having gorgeous feet thinking it was something I did, my consequences of my actions led to the odd appearance of my feet, and I blamed my mom for not teaching me to get pedicures or be a girly girl. I don't wear sandals. All because someone else looks at my feet and doesn't want to immediately suck whip cream off of them. Shame on me.

Well guess what? God gave me these feet. My mother and father made them, its what I got. Just like the raspy voice, the curly hair, the bad memory and the medium sized badoonkie. I gotta work with it. If you don't like my feet, then as Kat Williams eloquently put it: your a Bitch Ni*@a. Keep it moving because I'm not here to please you and it would cost me a lot of money and unnecessary PAIN to change it. No thanks, I'm all set. Para los gustos se hicieron los colores. Plus, if you are going to like me, then take me as I am, chosen toe and all,

I can only imagine what you are picturing my feet look like. For the record, they do not look like the picture I've included. Despite suffering 2nd degree burns on my feet @ the age of 10, they look pretty normal with no scars. I have 10 little toes with nails on them all proportionate to the size of my feet. The Chosen Toe is the spokes person for my feet so he's always a little higher and odder looking than the rest, ready to be addressed. LMAO. I get also get pedicures routinely even during the winter.

I've always had my reservations toward people, including those I've dated, with foot fetishes because I don't have gorgeous feet. But I've always said, unless you have gorgeous feet (and now I add) or are willing to pay for unnecessary major foot surgery and take care of me while I recuperate, then STFU.

The Dr. recommended I wear shoes with support and spend as much time as possible in proper arch support like the appropriate running sneakers to prevent arthritis in the feet. So, if you run into me and I'm rocking a suit and some kicks...don't judge. I'm not trying to suffer in my elder years just because I was trying to look cute. No thanks. Funny how humans are socialized...

Chosen Toe handed to me by my ancestors, I accept you, therefore I accept myself. And that makes feel Fahkin Great. Thank you for reading the entire entry, hopefully everyone did and I can avoid people requesting to see how disfigured my feet are. Although...if you are curious...for 1 easy payment of $19.99, you can get your glance at my beautiful feet and I'll throw in some ankle action! Quick!!! Offer ends soon :)

Laughing always-
Jaz