Have you made someone blush lately?

I was on my way to the bus to get to work today and a man says "Good morning gorgeous" and proceeded to hand me a single long stem red rose (My FAVORITE!). I am CHEEESIN...hard and say thank you in a pleasantly surprised voice. I was embarrassed and blushing-jes he made a darkie blush! I did not provide, nor intended to, digits or any form of repayment nor did he request any (GUAO!). He saw me waiting for the bus and then comes back and said, this one is much prettier for you and he switches it for a lovelier white rose, again no request for anything. Cue in big ass grin.

That
Made

My Day.

Thank you random gentleman that has led me to believe that chivalry is on life support and not dead! That single unexpected act had me in a GREAT mood the entire day and I was LOVING my rose. I was able to work better, deal with more crisis better and be more productive. I then realized that a good friend and coworker was having a rough day with a family emergency so I decided to pay it forward and left the rose in her seat with a note that included details of how I ended up with the rose (I wasn't going to front like I bought it):

Desk phone rings; shaky voice: Thanks Manis, I really needed that and it made my day. Thank you Higher Being for giving me the opportunity to make someone feel the way I felt.

So go! Make someone Blush!...wat are you waiting for!

...still cheesing!

...more questions than answers...

Thank you Carmen Sandiego...where do you find these things?!!!



This video provided valuable insight towards self discovery: I had an interesting conversation with a friend after we read the article about the girl in government who got fired for her overly racist statements on Facebook. I am definitely weary of what I say and couldn't help but think: Have I said anything here that may negatively impact my life whether its now or in the future?? Although my words here aren't meant to be offensive, I must protect myself. It saddens me that I have to maintain anonymity on here for several reasons such as unforeseen professional consequences. You just never know. I hope for the best.

Any who, the questions: 'are people of color being too sensitive or not sensitive enough about race and racism (funny how oppression never comes up)' were also part of our conversation . There was a time when I was in grad school que yo estaba insoportable con "its because I'm black" this, and "that was so racist I refuse to watch the show" that. Just hard to explain to people that benefit from the deeply rooted systemic racism and oppression that exist in our society why my realities and observations to them are sometimes interpreted as overly sensitive without pointing the finger. Its also difficult to determine when I'm being apathetic to an obviously racist and oppressive act. The balance is what I'm trying to find. Seems like a Life Long task. Vamos a vei!

-Siganme a lo Bueno!- El Chapulin Colorado (my main mannn)

healthy fear

Went to a wake to support a hurting friend and of course many thoughts were left on my mind.

Death and dying are just topics I'm not good @. Death and dying aka my kryptonite (pun intended). I've never experienced the loss of someone that I was close with so I just don't know how to act in these situations. I do, however, know that I care for my friend so I went. The shared tears and hugs made up for the consoling words I lacked, and so I'm

happy I went.
Facing our mortality definitely takes you for an emotional/mental spin. Remember, the only thing that's 100%guaranteed in life is death. Scary ish.

*I couldn't help but thinking of the day mortality decides to swing by for a visit. Would I be able to cope with the loss rather normally? Or what if I loose the will to live as I've seen people do? Idk man, the permanent absence of a few people that come to mind would drastically change my life and outlook on it. I wonder how.

As mortal beings, a dangerous way to live life is as if it is never ending. We go to sleep angry, leave uncompleted tasks, withhold... emotions... thoughts... words, hoping to get the opportunity to do them when you wake the next morning. Forgetful that eternal life is not ours to live and uncertain of what the afterlife brings. *deep breath*

I fear death for those reasons exact. Leaving loved ones in mourning or having to mourn. Not being able to complete the assignment, and taking with me those emotions, thoughts and words meant for sharing. This healthy fear of death, however, allows me to hone in on the very things that matter to me.

So live life fully and morally friends. Don't be selfish with those meaningful thoughts, words...emotions. Do what you intended to do in good faith. LAUGH. You are as happy as you let yourself be.

*Pura Vida Mae!
Has luego....

deeeep breathe and exhaleeeeeeeeeeee

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im really distracted friends. idk whats going on in my brain really. work is becoming just that: work. need to move on prontoooooooo. unfortunately, i need 2+ years of experience to get some of the jobs ive been looking at, so montra, calllma.

i am, however, studying for my license and trying to get my finances straight so that in my old age, i'm not left alone to die like some of my clients. *scary*

well...my mind has been hijacked recently and this time it brings a day long smile to my face. Helps me cope with modern day slavery.

well until i have something insightful to share...ciao

Fastforward

buennnnnnnnno mi gente, definitely fell off buttt im back.

lets rewind the past few weeks and fastforward the recap shall we?

went to ohiiiiiooooooooo to visit family, good trip, good bonding time with momma- yay!

came back to strep throat, but high doses of antibiotics did the trick and recuperated-woo!

NYS Senate= HAM (hot ass mess) meaning many things are at stake including my salary. FML.

lot more self discovery happening.

went to Costa Rica. GUAO. GUUUUUUUUUUAO. Not only is the country gorgeous, but the ladies I went with are friggin amazing. I absolutely had a movie type vacation and couldn't of asked for anything more or less.

returned and still partying like a rockstar minus the lavish budget. beach trips, dancing and boys. what else could i ask for?

summer 2009 is flying by. jeeeebles, what's the rush time?

okay, i promise to return with something insightful soon. i promise.

ARG >{

Furious. OMG I don't scream because I'm not 3years old to throw a tantrum and well aware it won't make me feel better. Kicking/punching someone in the face/violently between the legs will. And it may land me in a cell with a lady named Bubba trying to hit on me. So blogging will do.Hey, not all entries will be funny or happy.


Just spoke to someone in a way I never thought I would. Everyone has their breaking point. Disappointment is something I will never get used to especially from a repeat offender. Hardship, however, is something I refuse to grow accustomed to, no matter how persistent it is. There are endless unconventional things-both simple and complicated-about my family that I will strive to never mimic, adopt nor incorporate into my future family dynamics. I just wish some people would understand the gravity of their decisions and actions on their family members and the large contribution they make to the construction of characters and personalities.

Take a minute to de construct one aspect of your personality and I bet you can probably link it to family history. For instance, I'm mature for my years because my childhood was short lived. With that said, I'm probably as silly as I am for the same reason. Bitter sweet.

Funny how negative this post sounds. The more I interact with the elderly, the more I feel the need to repair/maintain relationships with family members. Ultimately it is they who are forced to stick through the tough times even if they are to blame for trouble. Loneliness sucks now when everyone is around and young, I don't even want to imagine how lonely it must feel to be old, frail and without family. I'm truly blessed in many ways to have the life and family I do aaaand things are not always what they seem.

Because I have such little patience with family, I pray for patience. Lord knows I need it.

Good night
~Jai

Keep u YOU

paid a visit to martha's vineyard (aka MV or the V) with a group of friends...

some highlights:

*headed to the V with pain meds, antibiotics, and nasal spray- this should be interesting

*the group dynamics could not be more appropriate or shall I say inappropriate?

*the V: after vegas and miami...and DR, we were under the impression that MV was going to be a boisterous party. We brought enough food to generously feed a family of 10 for two weeks and definitely stuck out like Alfalfa's cow lick. Little did we know that the V is a quiet island for family activities. An island in which residents offer friendly greetings to complete strangers, a late night closing for a bar is 1:30am (original pic attached) and the youngsters walk around publicly voicing their drug testing concerns.

*This is what happens when 7 strangers stop being nice, have a lot of food, alcohol, time & curiosity and start being real.
-We made the ferry therefore avoided spending friday night in the car-Thanx Gabe
-sessy dance was conceived and adopted-Me+6 :)
-i learned i can take more verbal and emotional abuse than i thought/ever wanted -as
long as its coming from friends. LOL Thanx Damien
-SHOTS!- Fig
-my eyes were not ready for that- oh Nat...
-that was just disrespectful!- Aims
-your indifferent aka icebox where your heart used to be-Crack

*I was proudly the most sober person of the group (for I was on medication) but definitely enjoyed several meals (lobster was amazing), the beach, wonderful conversations and literally ONGOING laughter.

Point?: Being loopy off of vicodin housed in a two story 8 bedroom, 3 bath beach house, with 6 people, and absolutely no censorship was exactly what I needed! After 2 bedridden days, a molar extraction and being completely wiped out by my allergies, random borderline wreck less behavior was highly overdue. Productivity at work is 99% (-1% for this blog entry), makes me happy.

* unavoidable serious tangent:

~I did LEARN a lot. Its fabulous to learn about yourself through other's experiences and words. Its also amazing to know what people are REALLY thinking. Fanballs has always said that the superpower she'd want was the ability to read minds, after listening to people's thoughts, I could not agree more.

~This I will reveal: My earlier entry about MISinterpretations was not only confirmed, but displayed in a new light. AMAZING/ highly enraging. I am thankful for the way I am. Being truthful has never been so liberating, some people should try it.

Recommendation: Mental health is contingent upon "breaks from reality," so I URGE you take as many vacations/spa days/personal days/ daydreams/toilet breaks (u get the point) as it takes to keep u YOU. I definitely felt more like myself than I have in a long time.

Still Laughing
~Jai